It's never just a coincidence

There are no coincidences on this journey. (It's a long one but totally worth the read!)

Thursday my goal was to get the bus from Sedona, AZ to Winslow, AZ, a trip that should have taken me about 2 hours. The first hour was smooth sailing. No issues whatsoever and I was enjoying the sunshine, beautiful landscape of Sedona and feeling the wind in my hair while listening to Take it Easy on repeat. I mean, when you're about to go stand on the corner in Winslow, AZ and stay at the Take it Easy RV Park, that's what you do right!? Wellllll... let's just say Thursday did not follow suit with what an easy day should look like.

Once I started the incline out of Sedona on the 17 toward Flagstaff, my bus started to overheat. Thankfully since I have driven Atticus almost 30,000 miles now, I am in tune with what he normally sounds like and how he usually has a little extra umph when going up hills and his fan kicks on. When the temp went above 220, and that fan didn't kick in, I knew something was wrong. So being the smart cookie that I am, I pulled over to the shoulder... or what was shoulder enough to get me mostly off the busy highway. Then the warning light came on. No bueno! I knew not to drive the bus any further until it cooled down. That took about 30 minutes.

So over the next 6 hours I troubleshot this issue with friends over text, phone calls, FaceTime, Facebook messenger, and even email. Narrowing it down to either a stuck thermostat or a fan clutch. Niether one of those were the news I wanted to hear. So I spent the 6 hours driving 1/4 mile at a time with about a 20-30 minute wait in between. I finally made it into Munds Park, AZ. A town I had literally never heard of, had zero plans of ever stopping, and only stopped there because it was the nearest gas station and I was hoping they would let me park overnight and then begin figuring out the way to solve this issue on Friday.

The first gas station I went to on the east side of the highway told me I could not park in their parking lot and that it could be ticketed or towed. Ok, that stunk. So I walked across the street to a bar and asked them if I could park there overnight. At first they were hesitant but then said it should be ok as long as I was gone in the morning. Perfect. Plus the bar looked awesome and I had a couple people come up to me and ask me what the bus was and I told them, as soon as I shower I'll come in and tell you all about it.

In hindsight, I should have asked if it was ok for me to pull out my generator for 30 minutes so I could shower and have power to dry my hair, but I didn't think about it and I think that may have been what sparked them to come out and tell me they changed their mind and that the owner really didn't want me parked there. They told me I could try across the street. So I packed up all of my stuff and drove the bus to the west side of the highway to check out the other gas station.

This gas station had a huge lot but also had signs posted that said "No Overnight and No camping." Dangit! There was a church next door but they had a big sign that said "NO RV parking." I tried to call the church but there was no answer. I left a message (still no response). The RV park down the street was also closed, so I couldn't park there. So I decided I'm just going to go in and ask the second gas station and see if they would make an exception for just one night. Thankfully the kid (probably in his 20s) said he wouldn't call it in and that he didn't see anything. Whoooo hooo I had a spot to park.

I was tired after that long day and almost just took a shower and went to bed, but I was hungry and quite honestly I wanted a shot of tequila and a beer. After that long day... I wanted to Take it Easy!

There was a small BBQ joint next to the gas station. I went in and it was a similar style to a meat & three where you order in a line and then sit down. I almost just ordered food and sat down, but noticed there was something happening in the back of the restaurant towards the bar area, so I skipped the food and headed straight to the bar. There was a seat open towards the end next to a man (not too shabby of a looker if I might add) and two women. I sat down, ordered a shot and a beer. Ahhhh that was the ticket!!

Now here is where the story gets into the feels!!!

The bar was about to play trivia and somehow I became teammates with the two sisters next to me. Trivia is totally my jam! I love it, even when I suck at it, I love it! We instantly bonded and then also the guy on my other side who was basically playing alone, kind of joined in the fun too. I had sat in the perfect seat to make new friends for the night. But there is more...

I happened to sit down next to Kerry, who had very recently lost her husband to suicide last Friday. Her sister Cam was in town to help her with funeral planning and all the things that go with emotionally supporting your sister during an incredibly hard time. This was a night to get Kerry out of the house and to have even a little bit of fun and to maybe relax a little bit. It was fate that had me in that exact seat next to the exact person who needed this project. In between trivia questions, giggles, and drinks we talked about her husband Tom and how he was an Iron Man competitor. How he had a stroke 7 years ago and how that had been challenging on him as well as on her as a caretaker. She talked about her three boys and how she and Tom had just moved from Tucson to Munds Park in April to be next to her parents. She showed me photos of when she had big hair in the 80s and told me how her and Tom met and would listen to 80s bands. I immediately envied that she was old enough to be wild in the 80s. I was too young to really enjoy Sebastian Bach and Motely Crue to the extent that she was able to.

When they asked why I was there and how I ended up at that bar, I told them about the bus and the Beautiful Strength project. They wanted to do it. We exchanged numbers and I offered to drive the bus to her house in the morning as long as it wasn't up a hill or if my overnight parking spot went ok, they would come see me in the morning. I knew I had to get the bus fixed, but it could wait for this story!

Friday morning Kerry showed up at the bus. She wanted to wear the dress that she will be wearing at Tom's funeral on April 9th. It was beautiful. It even had gold dots that coincide so well with her last name "Golden." It was classy and sophisticated and she will more than likely only wear it once. Her sister Cam was going to be coming in a while, but wanted to give Kerry the time to experience this herself and really be in the moment to be heard.

I am not an official therapist by any means, but this project has taught me the art of listening, or at least becoming what I hope is a better listener. I have never been in a place close to where Kerry is right now, but I could offer an ear, a hug, and an opportunity to heal even if it was a small amount. Most people in this project smile and have a face of happiness, but I told Kerry, be free to be who you are in THIS moment. Say the words you feel NOW. Express them out loud. What she wrote and the way in which she wrote it makes you want to cry and makes you want to help take her pain away. I would never have known that this woman lost the love of her life less than a week ago had I not taken the time to engage with her in conversation.

But the story also continues...

Kerry's sister Cam also wanted to participate in the project, but without her portrait being public. Come to find out, Cam had a mastectomy 5 years ago. She is now 56 and has been fierce her whole life. Always up for a challenge and facing it head on. She omits confidence and a wild, fun spirit. When she came onto the bus she said that she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to do, but one of the things she is having the hardest time with is accepting her body now after surgery. How it is difficult to feel sexy and confident. And how it angers her because she is able to control so much of the other aspects of her life and how she faces them head on, but this one thing is just not something she has been able to tackle just yet.

Cam wanted to do something to own her body. She originally was going to lift up her shirt and hide her face. Then we tried her holding a camera, still not exposing her whole face. When I went to load them into the iPad she did this impromptu pose and I got it! It was the one! I think it is perfect because it is a real genuine smile, you can see her face, and she is OWNING it! Of course to meet Facebook and social media guidelines I have to cover her nipple for this post, but the full image is on the website.

Cam struggled a bit with what to write on the iPad. Which is very common and the hardest part. Formulating what you're feeling into words is not easy. I let her work through it. Writing, erasing, writing again, until she wrote what was perfect for her; and I think it is AWESOME I hope this moment opens her up to feeling downright confident and knowing that she is just as beautiful with the scars as she was without. That those scars show even more how badass of a woman she is and that anyone who doesn't find them sexy as hell 100% does not deserve her. We also talked about the special series GlitterTits and how it would be awesome to have her join in later this year in Nashville. I really hope that happens.

I don't think anyone will ever fully understand the magic that happens in this bus or even when this project was just in my apartment living room. It is possible to go from zero to friends in a very short amount of time when you put down the phone and engage with people around you. These two stories are also a continual lesson to be kind to others around you because you have absolutely no idea what other people are handling within their hearts and minds.

The bus breakdown absolutely sucks and is inconvenient, but without it, these two stories would not have been heard.

Thank you to Kerry and Cam for being vulnerable, open, and sharing your story.

Until we meet again.

Annette