Make sure your single friends are ok this Holiday Season.
Oh the weather outside is frightful but the fire is so delightful and since there’s no place to go… let it snow let it snow let it snow.
I’m sure whoever wrote this song was all snuggled up on a couch with their significant other all warm and cozy, sharing a bottle of Malbec, watching the Hallmark channel, giving each other massages and about to get it on lit only by the glow of the Christmas Tree lights and a crackling fire. I highly doubt they were single, curled up on one side of the couch (the other side than where they watched a movie the night before because you wouldn’t want to wear out just one side of the couch), wrapped up in a Snuggie because there really is no need for a full size blanket to share, cracking canned wine open, watching the Hallmark channel, wishing there was someone out there that would trade places with you so you could marry the Prince and become queen of Aldovia, and about to not get it on… at all, let alone get a massage.
The Holiday season has always been one of my favorite/hated times of the year. I am a huge fan of Christmas. I love the hallmark movies and the throwback classics, the lights, the food, the colors, the smells, the way Churches come alive, I love the music (when appropriately played AFTER Thanksgiving and cut off on New Year’s Eve). I absolutely love the magic of Christmas.
But now for the part of why the holidays can be so tough… on someone who is single. Don’t get me wrong, the holidays can be tough on a lot of people, for various different reasons, but for now, i’m going to focus on what I know because I am living the single life.
Everyone thinks the holidays start at Thanksgiving, but really they start in October… that first taste of fall. Pumpkin patches, hayrides, apple orchards, and everyone adding a dark tone filter to their toasts of fall lattes with some make me gag hashtag like #iloveyoualatte or #fallinevenmoreinlovewithyoueverydayyousexybeastofamanofmine
These are all fabulous things and everyone should have the opportunity to run through a corn maze and make out when no one is watching and stuff their child into a pumpkin and dress them up as little pea pods or mini super heroes, because you’re right, that’s fricken adorable. Now I am never probably going to be one to use some over zealous hashtag like some want to be Instagram influencer, but I’m all about the other stuff!
It is a lot easier to be single 9 months of the year but man, October, November, and December you start really feeling just how single you are. And don’t get me wrong, I love seeing people in love. I absolutely love seeing people BE loved. What sucks is when you don’t have that love yourself. No this is not an anti self love post where I need to be pumped up about loving myself first and then the right guy will show up. I love myself just fine… I have for years. I’m good. But I’d love for someone to love me, who wouldn’t. And please, for the love of all that is holy stop saying “when you stop looking love will show up.” This does not help your single friends, it is absolutely not true, and it does not make for family dinner conversation. It also prompts your niece, who is 5, to ask why you don’t have a husband. Bless your heart honey… I have no fricken idea! The holidays make you feel more alone than any other time of the year.
November is a time to give thanks. And by all means I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a fantastic family, and friends, and I get to love up on people everyday. I have a fantastic career I love, I’m surrounded by great inspiring people, I have a roof over my head, a car to drive, food on my table, and of course wine. There’s only one thing missing. One hot sexy man to share all of those things with me. Cue the whaaa whaa whaa music.
And then we roll into December. I know this month can be stressful on anyone, and I am no way saying others even married couples and such don’t have stress during this time of year, by all means we ALL do. I mean I know we don’t ever want to say it, but I’m going to. Buying Christmas presents sucks. Now in a perfect world where we all live on unlimited budgets and kids only want marbles and gum for Christmas, this would not cause such stress. And we also live in a world that refuses to actually see Christmas for what it is, a time to celebrate, and only focuses on the gift giving and commerce side. In all the stress of gift buying and giving, as a couple, you probably have two incomes. Now, imagine a single person.. yep you guessed it, that’s one income! Buying all your brothers and sisters and their significant others and all their spawn gifts. That’s a lot of money!!!
And don’t hear what I’m not saying. I LOVE to give gifts, I really do. I love seeing someone open something that I put a lot of thought into and picked out just for them. I just would love it even more if we could all just vanish the whole gift giving tradition and come up with something else. And from what I’ve learned from all my Hallmark movie watching and listening to married couples…. you ALL agree!!!!
Another fun singlism at the holidays… we usually don’t have kids, so we are the ones who drive from family to family being the crazy loved Aunt or Funcle which means we spend a lot of time alone, in our cars driving. And then we are the lucky ones who get the couch because our single bodies can fit on them. Which also means, we are going to get kicked out of our single sleep rhythm because your beloved children are going to wake us up way before we normally do. And for that we are grateful, but don’t be alarmed if we need to sneak off for a nap or a sip of whiskey before lunch.
If you’ve read this far, you may be thinking, man… she is such a scrooge. Really I’m not. I love Christmas. I really do. I just want others who are busy hustling and bustling themselves, to include your single friends. Invite them to the holiday parties, and family celebrations, and love up on them. At the end of the day, when you go home after the over stimulus of the holiday season, you have someone to talk to, us singles go home to an empty house and zero pillow talk to recount how awesome the day was, or how awful Aunt Marge was, or laugh at how tipsy mom was and how fricken awesome that was. We go home alone. Just check on us. Make sure we are ok. And we promise to check on you and make sure you’ve survived the holidays too!